Remission and other news…..

It’s now 10 weeks since my last chemo infusion and I had the phone call today to confirm I am in remission, but more about me later!

I’m going to start with other news, which is what Robin and Aria have been up to…..

For those of you who don’t know, Robin has got a place at UHI Perth to study HNC musical theatre. She begins in September and will be leaving home for this adventure. She finished school forever on 6 June and I went to the leaver’s assembly, which was wonderful. The teachers spoke about each pupil at length and it was obvious they knew them closely, the advantage of a small school. I had a proud Muma moment when Robin won an award, she also sang one of her pieces she did for her college audition. The kids and teachers went out for a meal together in the evening, and then there was a teen party which involved late night shenanigans. Now she is working at the local beach campsite shop for the summer dealing with the weird and wonderful whims of tourists.

Leavers Assembly

Award for Robin

Robin zip lining at leavers trip

Both Robin and Aria were in the school production of Bugsy Malone last week, playing Bugsy and Tallulah respectively. While it was not as polished as last year’s production of the Importance of Being Earnest it was great fun. There was great adlibbing from the kids and you could see they were having a laugh, especially with the custard pie/ splurge gun final scene!

Aria as Tallulah

Aria continues to be amazingly talented at anything creative. Her singing as Tallulah was amazing. She recently did her work experience at Highland Stoneware, our local (but very top end) pottery. She produced some beautiful paintings of landscapes and puffins on various pots and they were very impressed with her work. She has just moved up to s4 and begins her exam subjects for Nat5’s, she has chosen art, music, geography and hospitality (cookery but with the catering/hotel trade in mind). In the summer hols, which begin 5 July she has a job pot washing at a café in Lochinver.

Aria and me went on a road trip to Aberdeen for my final PET scan a few weeks ago and decided to make it fun. We discovered a brilliant vegan restaurant called The Food Story and had a delicious meal then checked out the seafront in Aberdeen, which we didn’t think much of. On the way home we stopped at MacDuff marine Aquarium which was amazing. It features only sea creature that inhabit local coastal waters. We spent a long time communing with rays and other flatfish, they seem to be very sociable and we came away very relaxed. Then we stopped at Findhorn, it’s the first time we’ve been. Aria had a fit of nostalgia for Glastonbury high street in their shop, and then we had more delicious food in the café. I would like to go back to do their 5 rhythms class but it’s a 3 hr drive from us. Hoping that the universe will provide a solution!

Aria and ray in conversation

me relaxing at The Food Story

Last Saturday night I had a treat, a belated birthday treat in fact. Last year for my birthday Robin bought me tickets to go and see Blazin Fiddles at Eden Court Theatre in Inverness but sadly I ended up being in hospital so didn’t make it. The theatre was helpful and gave us a credit voucher and we saw The Budapest Café Orchestra. I had such fun, and have never heard and seen so much variety and expression from a fiddle player; I am a little bit in love with Christian Garrick! It felt like a breakthrough for me to go out in the evening too…..twice in one week in fact with Bugsy. My energy levels are still low (I had to rest in the day to go out in the eve) but it’s a huge step to do evenings at all, I’m so chuffed.

I have been getting back out into the world a bit more in general over the last month. I go to a sewing class at our local leisure centre on a Friday afternoon, which I love. It’s very sociable with much drinking of coffee and catching up on the local crack, but with a brilliant teacher. She also brings professional over locker and equipment so even a novice like me can produce something with a lovely finish. I’m feeling like I have found my tribe here and friendships are deepening and social contact in general becoming more frequent. I hadn’t realised how isolated I had become during my treatment.

Image made by Robin for me !

So I am hugely relieved to get the REMISSION news but I continue to struggle with my general fitness. I put on a huge amount of weight and suffer a fair amount of muscle and joint pain from all the drugs so I am frequently tired and still not as active / mobile as I would like to be, I am impatient to be romping about in the wilds again. But the wonderful folk in the haematology dept assure me this is all normal and will heal with time.

I am 50 at the start of August and this whole process of cancer and chemo has given me a lot of time to reflect. This year and next seem to be huge turning points. I come to the end of treatment with no job, my eldest about to fly the nest and now looking for a new home as our tenancy is up in Nov and my landlord wants us out in the spring of 2020. There have been times recently of feeling completely overwhelmed and exhausted and as if I can’t take much more. Other times (and increasingly) I am coming to see all this as a new chance, how lucky I am to have survived cancer and be recovering, what a blessing. And being in a place of having nothing in terms of job and housing and to a certain extent money (my benefit income drops massively now I am well and when Robin leaves home! eeek) is actually a freedom. I can choose where I go from here…..WOW!

For housing and lifestyle I have always longed to live closer to the land, in a way that means I tread more lightly and even more so here in beloved Assynt. I long to know this landscape intimately. I also hear the call to step up on the issue of climate change and pollution and being a headstrong Leo feel the need for action – to live what I believe in. So that’s what I’m putting out there for our next home, I have no idea how it will happen yet so value any wisdom and advice. In terms of work I am currently focussing on making Bear Oracle sets and selling them at local craft market. When I have more energy I will work full time self-employed developing the Oracle sets, selling them further afield, and leading ceremonial workshops based on them. In the long term I hope to be incorporating my fire and glass walking and Bear magic into retreats and workshops here. I have so many ideas but am frustrated by my current level of fitness. It’s all down to trusting now….

Findhorn wisdom

I just want to say a mahosive huge big enormous thank you to everyone for the support you have given me through my treatment, what a fab bunch of people I have around me. I haven’t been in touch as much as would have liked to but I love all the cards, messages and calls, excuse my replying in this less personal fashion. I will keep you all posted on the next bit of the adventure.

Big Bear Hugs